CAPTIVE: A DARK MAFIA ROMANCE Page 11

  My eyes darted over to the kids and I couldn't help but bite my lip. My Little Pony had their full attention. Looking at Nova and Liam, I knew they weren't going to try and help me either.

  They sucked ass.

  "Fine," I said.

  He loosened his grip and I watched him stalk over to a corner and he pulled down a bottle of vodka. Liam was already getting glasses. The thought made me want to wretch; I hadn't touched vodka since the night I'd conceived Alexandra.

  "Spill it," Valentin said as he poured into four glasses, one for each of us.

  I shoved my glass away and turned up my nose.

  "Viktor offered to get the Feds off my back, as well you," I said.

  As he tipped it up, the glass sparkled under the light. Valentin drank every single drop that was in the glass and then he sat it down on the marble countertop. His finger danced around the rim of the glass for just a moment.

  "But what did he want in return. Viktor doesn't do favors, Astrid. You have to know that if you're considering anything."

  I looked to Nova for help, but she shrugged. "Tell him."

  "Bitch," I rolled my eyes.

  "This is the price you pay for being his woman," Liam shrugged.

  "Whoa...I'm not his woman, first of all," I muttered.

  Valentin raised an eyebrow in my direction.

  "Just because we're...entagled at the moment... I'm not your woman. And your father wanted a name. The name of his son. That was it."

  Looking between all three of them, I became annoyed.

  "Of fucking course, he wanted my brother's name," Val growled.

  He refilled his glass and I picked up my own.

  "Salu," I muttered.

  It went down the hatch. Fire blazed a path down into my stomach as though a dragon were breathing life into me. A shudder went through me and Nova gave a yip and then came and hugged me.

  "I'm on your side no matter what," she said.

  "Doesn't feel like it," I said. "The three of yall together are trouble."

  "You have no idea," she kissed my cheek and flounced back over to her husband.

  It was so damn weird to see my best friend not only married but, in a relationship, and in love. Her coffee colored skin seemed to glow from love and affection.

  I had cared about Capone; had even thought it was love until I'd decided he wasn't a good fit for me and Lexie. He'd never been a hundred percent into me; so, when we found out he'd been trying to get into Yara's pants and then ultimately kidnapped her...well things had made so much more sense.

  Vodka again flowed into my glass. I was extremely aware of Valentin slightly grinding into me as he leaned in to pour. His movements told me that another round of punishments were probably around the corner. My stomach tingled.

  "So why aren’t we giving him the name again?" I asked.

  The clear liquid was filled to a certain point and then stopped. Valentin's green eyes starred down at me.

  "Because I don't negotiate with terrorist," he replied. "Katia's dying breath was about my brother. Viktor raped her...he's tried to kill both Liam and I multiple times. The last thing he's going to do is fuck up another family member’s world."

  He leaned in closer; his lips brushed against my ear and whispered so low you had to be God himself to hear.

  "And just in case you're thinking of betraying us...Viktor can't save you, Astrid. Your body fucking belongs to me."

  Goddamn, I thought.

  His words should have scared me.

  But they didn't.

  His words should have sent me running from the room, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than what I was about to do.

  The vodka had given me some sort of courage. I pulled him down and kissed, capturing his lip between my own. The coppery taste of blood bit into my tongue.

  "We'll fucking see who I belong too," I murmured.

  He starred back at me wild eyed and for a moment it seemed as though it were just two of us in the same room. The smirk that appeared on his lips, threatened me with danger and slowly he wiped away a tiny dot of blood that had appeared.

  "You're going to pay for that later on," he promised.

  "I'm sure," I walked away to collect Lexie.

  It was time for her to get a bath and time for a hair wash. Tomorrow was picture day and I wanted her to look her best.

  Chapter 21

  Valentin

  I could see my breath in front of my eyes. The cold of Russia in the winter could be unbearable and unforgiving. Beneath my feet the snow seemed to crunch as I trudged up the hill to the castle.

  And then I could feel him breathing behind me.

  "Valentinnnn," he spoke.

  I hated the way he taunted me.

  The way he was always around.

  Suddenly, my pants were being forced away from my body...

  I could feel his flesh on my own...

  I awoke in the inky darkness, coughing and scrambling to get away from the figure looming over me in the dark. The coughs continued to come from my mouth as light from the lamp flooded the living room where I lay most nights.

  It was safe here.

  Secluded.

  Astrid's warm brown eyes were sparked with worry as she took me in. I realized that she must have been trying to shake me out of my night terror. My throat felt hoarse as though I'd been screaming. More than likely I had been.

  Flashes of the dream, a mix of memory and imagination overwhelmed me. I scrubbed my hands over my face, feeling the stubble of my beard beginning to poke through against my palms.

  Astrid, still concerned, came and sat beside me.

  "You were screaming..." she said quietly.

  I could feel my cheeks getting hot.

  "Nightmare," I said.

  "I've heard you before," she said. "But never like that."

  "I'm sorry..."

  The look she was giving me was starting to bother me. The carpet felt cool under my feet as I got up and padded into the small kitchen. There were a few bottles of water in the door of the refridgerator that became quickly uncapped. I gulped a whole bottle down in one go and tossed it into the nearby black trashcan.

  "Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Astrid asked.

  "No!" I snapped.

  She flinched.

  A weak smile covered her lips.

  "Fuck, I'm so-" she stopped me.

  "It's fine," she nodded.

  I stood there, watching shadows dance outside. The wind was whipping up and beating against the outside of the house, while tree branches swayed against the breeze making shadows pop out. Zephyr, I thought thinking of Astrid and I's safe word.

  I was to fucking twisted and cruel for this weak shit.

  The fact that the nightmares were back and they had only started when I discovered that I was a father bothered me. My own father hadn’t protected me. Lexie would never worry about that. Ever.

  Giving it a few more moments, I turned off the light to the lamp. The carpet quieted my steps as I traveled down the hall, stopping to check on Lexie in her room. A night light illuminated the bubblegum pink walls and her soft little snores filled my ears and made my heart stretch in my chest. I had never loved anything the way I loved Lexie.

  And Astrid, a little voice in the back of my head said.

  It was true.

  My Little Star had started to brighten my very dark world and I wasn't sure I liked it. She was strong willed and hadn't broken like the other bimbos I'd fucked on occasion. My brain transported me back to the moment I'd first seen her inside of the restaurant.

  The familiar smell of leather had taken over my senses as I slid into the corner booth.

  It was my favorite seat in the place, and it allowed me to view the entire room.

  The sound of laughter had filled my ears before I ever saw her. The doors to the kitchen had popped open as a petite little thing with her hair dark then and pulled up into a ponytail had came out tying her short apron around her sli
m waist.

  Mesmerized hadn't been the word.

  I couldn't stop starring and wondered if I'd been breathing.

  She stopped to talk to the owner's daughter who pointed to the table with me and my waiting associates. With a smile she'd popped over, a white note book and pen in hand. Her voice had been shy as she explained she was new and ready to take our orders...

  I slipped out of the memory and took a deep breath. I had wanted to fuck her five ways to Sunday from the moment I met her. Even now my daily thoughts turned to when could I slip into her body and take pleasure from it.

  My hand was on the knob before I knew it. I wasn't sure if she had fallen back asleep yet, so I called out to her softly.

  "Little Star?" I asked.

  "What?" she asked and I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

  "I'm sorry about before."

  She probably thought I was referring to the incident in the living room, but I wasn't. Apologies had never sat well on my tongue, but regret was even worse when I tried to swallow it down.

  I was getting soft.

  Had been ever since I'd found out I had a kid.

  In the dark I saw Astrid go to turn on the light but I tenderly grabbed her wrist before sitting on the bed. Darkness was my element and like a mother to me. It was in the dark where I felt most comfortable and I didn't want her to see me.

  "It's okay," Astrid said finally and took a deep breath. "Do you want to tell me about it now?"

  "Yes," I replied.

  The mood in the room changed; it seemed colder as though an icy grip were wrapping itself around my chest.

  I fought the panic attack down.

  They happened sometimes but I'd never tell anyone that...I was a goddamn enforcer for the Bratva.

  Who would believe me

  "I told you that if I'd known about Lexie, that I would have been around..."

  "And I believe you."

  "I came back to the restaurant later on," I said. "But it'd closed by then. I'd been out of the country...hunting."

  "Hunting?"

  My hands had begun to sweat; I rubbed my moist palms against the pants I wore. My throat still felt as though there were an invisible icy hand wrapping around it. The only way to break through was to tell Astrid everything.

  "Not...I was hunting a person," I got out finally.

  The bed shifted and Astrid moved in closer to me. The warmth from her body seemed to surround me and it was as though the icy feeling hated the closeness of her; I could feel it receding.

  "Who?"

  "A man..." I spoke. "When Liam and I were kids we were sent to Russia for months to train and learn the ways of the Bratva from our countrymen."

  "But you're both American," Astrid's voice sounded puzzled.

  "I know...but our father's never wanted us to forget where we came from," my eyes had squeezed shut as the memory of being awakened in the middle of the night and being told it was time to leave.

  "Viktor is a piece of shit," Astrid stated. "We'll never be like him or my parents. Now that you're in her life...Lexie loves you, Val."

  "Your parents?"

  "They didn't exactly care what happened to me, and they damn sure didn't help out with Lexie," Astrid said.

  "Then no, I guess we won't be like them."

  I stared off into the dark. Soon, Astrid's fingertips began to draw delicate patterns on my back and dropped her head against my shoulder.

  "Did you want to tell me more?"

  Clearing my throat, my eyes darted towards the door.

  I could say that was it and leave.

  Walk back through that open door, get on the couch and fall into a restless slumber and then repeat.

  Turning back to her, "No. That's not all."

  I was itching to run.

  "The man that I was hunting, his name was Igor. He was....FUCK!"

  A growl of frustration ripped from my throat and I stopped worried that Lexie would be awakened by the sounds. A few moments passed and nothing happened.

  "Valentin... you can tell anything."

  Her brightness was shining into my darkness again.

  Goddamn it!

  I still wanted to hate her for the shit that she'd done. For keeping Lexie from me. But I knew now that I'd played my part in all this. Astrid deserved to know why I'd disappeared. My eyes began to flinch, and it was an unfamiliar sensation to me.

  I felt my face.

  It was wet.

  I was crying.

  "Tell me," Astrid urged.

  "He raped me as a child, and years later, when I had him tracked down. I found him...living in a shitty apartment. Roaches and rat running rampant, no electricity. He'd been ousted from the Bratva shortly after what he'd done to me." I turned to Astrid as she waited, quietly. "And I put a bullet between his fucking eyes for all the innocence he'd stripped not just from me, but for all the others."

  Astrid said nothing.

  She simply got onto her knees and wrapped her arms around me. It was like a dam burst inside of me and tears began to roll. It had been inside of me for years, the darkness. And Astrid had been waiting like a lighthouse on the shore calling to me, a lost sailor out in a sea of terrifying discontent.

  A seed of happiness felt like it was blooming inside of my chest, Astrid felt like the shore I’d been waiting to see for so long.

  Chapter 22

  Astrid

  "So, what kind of freaky stuff he been doing to you?"

  A cough got caught in my throat as I refocused on my surroundings. I had zoned out inside the nice cafe that we'd chosen for brunch. Nova was sitting across from food halfway in her mouth.

  "Mmm...what?"

  "You heard me...Val gives off BDE and honestly... he's different from Liam. He's..."

  I held up my hands confused. "BDE?"

  She narrowed her eyes before picking up the mimosa. "Girl, Big Dick Energy."

  A pain hit my side as I started laughing uncontrollably. "Where do you get this shit?"

  "So, it's huge?"

  I shook my head. "Very."

  "I knew it...Liam's packing too. They’re so damn weird some days."

  "Well there was that whole stalking incident," I agreed.

  "So, what's Big Dick Valentin's kink? I know he has one," Nova asked.

  Cautiously, I looked around. There weren't very many people in the spot and the workers were behind the counter laughing, while the phone rang off the hook.

  "Okay, remember that night I showed up at the club and surprised the hell out of him?"

  "Could never forget it," she laughed.

  "He spanked me in the office," I shrugged revealing Val's dirty little secret to my best friend.

  Picking up my own mimosa, I took a sip. It instantly felt as though it was about to come back up. It literally tasted as if the orange juice had turned foul. I spit it back into the glass and Nova gave me side eyes.

  "It tastes so bad."

  The white napkin that lay off to the side eventually was patting my tongue. Excusing myself, I went to the bathroom and locked the door behind myself. The overwhelming urge to vomit hit me. The high heels I wore almost tripped me up.

  Chunks of egg and bacon swam in the toilet bowl. I groaned and finished vomiting. The metal handle felt cool under my touch as I flushed. Whipping out my cellphone I scrolled to the period tracker that I kept on my phone.

  ....it confirmed what I'd been thinking.

  My period was late as fuck.

  At the same time, a message from Valentin came through. He'd taken a picture of him and Lexie at the bookstore. She was holding five Madeline books and had a wide smile on her face. I couldn't even reply because I was becoming overwhelmed with emotion.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Pregnancy was not part of the plan. Wasn't exactly like I could run and hide with yet another goddamn Safaryan child. What would he say? What would he do?

  Quickly, I washed my hands and fixed my hair.
My eyes looked a little red but otherwise, I looked cute.

  Nova was still sitting at the table when I returned. She looked up and smiled as I sat down.

  "You okay?"

  "I'm great," I lied.

  "Good...so there was a reason that I wanted to do a girl's brunch," she smiled widely. "I have something to tell you."

  I forced a smile so that my friend could tell me her good news. "What?"

  She reached into her back pocket and pulled out something and handed it to me. "We're expecting!!!"

  The black and white sonogram starred back at me and tears began to slip down my face. Dabbing at them, I stood up and hugged Nova.

  "Oh my God, you're going to make the best mother," I told her and truly meant it.

  "We're so excited."

  "There's nothing like motherhood," I said and truly meant it.

  A storm had started to brew thirty minutes after Nova and I went our separate ways. The road glistened and shimmer as though someone had thrown a handful of diamonds onto the soaking wet pavement during the first few minutes.

  Soon it was coming down in sheets and I pulled into an empty parking lot. I just needed to collect my thoughts that were all over the place. Could I really be pregnant again? My hand instantly went to my stomach. If I was, this would make my third pregnancy. Months earlier, I had decided to terminate a pregnancy with Capone. That had occurred before anyone had known how disgusting and vile, he had been.

  "Fuck!" I screamed.

  My hands hit the steering wheel and caused them to sting. Lexie casually talked about having another sibling. In fact, since this whole arrangement with Valentin had happened, she casually mentioned it every other day it seemed.

  Ringing filled my ears and I became confused.

  It wasn't my phone.

  Glancing between the seats, I realized it was coming from the console. Slowly, I ran my hand over the console before opening it and yanking out the phone. It was the burner that Viktor had given me. It continued to ring and I found myself answering hesitantly.

  "Hello?"

  "Nice of you to finally answer," Viktor's voice sent a chill down my back.

  "I thought maybe you'd get the hint that I'm not interested in your offer," I shrugged.

  Viktor laughed on the other end of the phone. "You're feisty, I like that in a woman. I'll have to fuck you after I get rid of Valentine. "